My Place In The “Momverse”

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I have to admit something. It was kind of surprising to me when I discovered it. At my son’s T-ball game I had an realization. I don’t really like most Mothers. What? Where is this coming from. I write a blog that has posts that are kind of skewed to moms, but here I am saying I don’t like them. But wait let me explain. I think it is more a problem in me. I just don’t have much patience for people. I don’t really want to dig deep and see what makes them tick. I just don’t have the time anymore. How you are on the surface is how I will judge you to be. If you are a loudmouth, then that is who you are. If you are a snob, well that is you too. There is nothing wrong with being who you are. Something I have realized since reaching 40 is I don’t have to like everyone.

There are many personas in the  “momverse.” Here are some I have come across. There are the sexy moms that are out to catch the eye of Dad’s, to prove that they still have the body of a college co-ed. That they can still party, be sexy and wear clothes that are a little to revealing for a Kindergarden field trip. Sorry mom, you might have killer abs, good for you. Here is an idea, how about you spend time with your kids instead of hoping that their friend’s Dad’s will whisper about how hot you are.

Then there are the mom whose kid is the smartest, the best ever at everything… we have all been around the  “my child is in the gifted program,” mom. Yeah, yeah we know your child is the next Einstein, Whoopee!!!! Newsflash gifted means nothing in the grand scheme of things. It’s what you do with the gifts that matter. Any by the way “smart” mom, it’s your kids achievement not yours.

Next is the attention seeking mom. She has to be the loudest, most boisterous and obnoxious. You can often see her bullying her husband in a crowd of people. They need everyone to notice them and feel impressed by their power and forcefulness. They often use the kid as a reason to pick a fight or bully a teacher, coach or another parent. As if they are fighting for the rights of or wrongdoings on behalf of their child, but really it is an excuse to have everyone notice them.

We can’t forget the drama momma. She always has a crisis and is always looking to someone to bale her out. She continues to make a strings of bad choices and refuses to correct her situation. She acts as thought she is the victim and these things just happen to her. She never changes her behavior and expect others to fix a problem she started long ago. Most of the time with these moms it’s money. They have a bankruptcy, their house is being foreclosed on, their car is repossessed. However, they continue to take there kids out to dinner every night because they are to busy to cook. They wear $200 sunglasses and carry a Coach purse. They can only drive big, expensive SUV’s and look down upon your used Toyota.Be advised, don’t bother trying to help this mom. They don’t want to change for you, their kids or themselves. They want to live in denial.

Then there is the angry mom. I know… I’m in this group. Our anger comes from a place of insecurity. We never know if we are doing the right thing for our kids and are completely unsure of ourselves. We are afraid we will never teach our children self confidence because we don’t know it ourselves. We get angry and bitter towards other moms because at least they know who they are. We find it easier to judge them then to fix our own faults. We try to act aloof and above it, but we are so afraid if we get to know other moms, they might see how scared of screwing up we are.

Image by Alicia Hylton
Image by Alicia Hylton

These are just a few that I have encountered recently and have no patience for ( including myself.) I know there are tons more. Feel free to let me know which ones you might have spotted. Even thought some moms totally annoy me. We mom’s, for the most part, want the best for our children. We might go about it in different ways, but we all have that in common. So as much as I don’t want to like most moms, I will always respect the love of a mother for their child.

2 thoughts on “My Place In The “Momverse”

  1. I don’t like most mom’s either..and my girls are still small so I haven’t even begun to interact with other mothers an level you have yet. I’m 40 years old..I have plenty of friends whose relationships I’ve cultivated over the years…plus I have my 3 sisters..built in BFF’s. We all grew up in a similar fashion and have similar parenting styles..Like attracts like…So why would I want to be chummy with some random person especially since I barely have time in life for the ones I already have.!!???.BUT! I’m totally guilty of watching other mom’s interact and thinking and judging myself. You hit the nail on the head at the end. I have an acquaintance who has given me a ton of hand downs and baby items in pristine condition for which I’m thankful for. Her daughter is a year older than my oldest, an only child. I asked to do play dates multiple times. I always got a lame excuse..”oh Madison doesn’t really get along with most kids” “I have her on a strict schedule to help with her moods”
    Well anytime I spent time at an event “Madison ” was fine..your typical 2 year old. And there are always posts on FB of her doing play dates with other kids. So of course I would get angry. But do I really want to spend time with them?..No…her parenting philosophy is too structured and she’d probably freak out when I sat on her while couch to nurse the baby..lol. Unfortunately there still is that small part of me from Jr High that just wants to be accepted.

Your thoughts???